I was watching a DVD of my performance at the Edinburgh Festival Fringe last summer. Seeing yourself from the outside - as it were - is always a revelation. Do I really look like this? Do I do that with my face? Is that how I sound?
All I can say is, if I wasn't me and I met myself, I don't think I'd like me very much. Which begs the question: how come I have so many friends? (Even if I'm not counting everyone of Facebook.) They must like me for who I am as a person, not for how I come across. It's reassuring in a way...
On the other hand, my agent says my face is my selling card. Oh dear!!
Most of us feel that we would like to be a bit different from who we are - at least some of the time. Apparently even big stars with objectively great looks have off days... So here's a list of changes I'd make if I could:
1. Be taller, at least 5' 10" (I'm not sure how tall that actually is, as I grew up with the metric system, but it's a good 5 or 6 inches taller). 2. Be blond? Or a red head with green eyes. Or be black, or Asian. 3. Be good at remembering people's names. Anything else? 4. Be really relaxed and chilled. 5.Have an operatic voice. 6. Be an experienced horseback rider and have a black belt in martial arts (all of them). 7.Weigh less.
Ok, so some of them I can do something about, some I can't - at least not until they have some major advances in genetics. Or until we can survive without actually consuming food.
In the meantime? Avoid doing auto-biographical shows. And be kinder to self. And more appreciative of all those friends of mine who stick with me in spite of my glaring flaws and imperfections!