It's not the G spot, c'est le G point!

Nul point to King's College London. The G spot doesn't exist? Quelle horreur!

Where on earth were they looking for it? On the back of a Wheatabix cereal packet?

What next, the clitoris is useless, an evolutionary relic like the appendix?

Who sponsored their study? FHM or the Daily Star?

Thank goodness the results have now been refuted by French specialists who say that 56% of women enjoy their G spot and are very happy with it merci very much. What a relief. Ou la la!

It's not as though this is an orienteering exercise (although if that's your thing, here's the link: www.britishorienteering.org.uk) it's about giving the mind and the senses a focal point. Like Chakras. We don't all walk around with a third eye smack in the middle of our foreheads (although I know some people claim to have three nipples) even though people have been happily chanting Om for thousands of years. Are you still with me?

Maybe it's a cultural thing. The British are more literal and favour the collective, the French more... poetique and favour l'individu. Every woman is entitled to develop her G spot but some may choose not to or may never quite put their metaphorical finger on it. This doesn't mean that the millions of women who have found their G spot are deluded or otherwise hysterical.

It's a private thing. One of the last icons of sexuality that hasn't been splashed in full technicolour across the pages of internet sites and scandal mags by some money grabbing big titted so-called reality star... It's cloaked in mystery, subtlety and mystique... And nowadays, where so much is made of the obvious, of the graphic, of the provocative, maybe that's reason enough in some quarters to relegate the G spot to the world of Feminist myth and legend.

Thank goodness for the French! Ladies, it's official, Le G point is real. It's a French tradition. Like Gherlain, BN biscuits and Bonne Maman Jam. Made available free of charge to all Francophiles although it may require some persistance and much practice to find yours. (But who's complaining?)

As to the British they can keep their Vice Anglais, Jammy Dodgers, Trafalgar, Waterloo, the Nelson column, driving on the left, tweed and Mr Brown...

Vive la difference!!