The word is out. I'm like a cab for hire when it comes to showing some flesh. And now even the plumber knows about it.
We have a leaky faucet in the bathroom and Alan the plumber very kindly came round to fix it this morning. I happened to mention that I was going to be playing opposite Jim Broadbent in Any Human Heart (as you can imagine I've been telling everybody, even complete strangers). But I left out the part about playing a prostitute.
Then my agent called. "Sorry to call you so early...[It's 10.30!!]... they want to know if you're happy to do the scene naked." "Come again?" "Well, no frontal nudity, obviously..." ("Obviously.") "...but would you be happy to be topless sitting on a chair?" "What does this have to do the script?" "I think they want some establishing shots..." "Fine. Tell them I'm happy to do the topless bit." "Oh good!" "And by the way, just so you know, I'm standing here with my plumber and I just finished telling him about playing opposite Jim Broadbent and he was thinking I was turning into a proper thesp when he heard me tell you that I was happy to do it topless..." (Unrestrained laughter at the other end of the phone.)
Alan looked a bit embarrassed after that, especially since he'd ask that I make sure to text him to let him know when Any Human Heart would be on so he and his wife could watch it... and now faces the prospect of watching one of his clients cavorting half naked on screen... even if it is in the name of art and with Jim Broadbent.
As I said. The word is out.
I have started a 3 day detox diet. I know she's meant to be plump but hey... the camera adds on at least 10 kg... I don't want her looking like a beached whale... topless on that chair!
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